Accountability

Part Four: Accountability
Note: This is the fourth and final part of a short series inspired by a long footnote in a previous post. Click here for Part One: The Muse, Part Two: Writer's Block and Part Three: Who’s driving this thing, anyway?

Accountability is a key element at the heart of any successful endeavor. In my Day Job, accountability means I’m responsible for working towards the commitments I’ve made to my employer: I have to* show up to work on time, meet project expectations, produce documentation, present reports, etc.—all very tangible, defined deliverables.

In one sense, accountability means the same in my writing life. I’m still responsible for working towards commitments I’ve made to tangible, defined deliverables: daily or weekly word count goals, revision deadlines, etc. One noticeable difference is that in my writing life, the commitments are all ones I’ve made to myself since I’m not yet agented** or published.

In another sense, though, accountability looks and feels quite different for me as a writer than it does for me as a corporate employee. I’ve made serious commitments to intangible things like narrative structure and character development and telling the true story. In order to achieve my goals, I’m reliant on things like inspiration and ideas. These commitments feel like a heavier weight around my neck than producing documentation and presenting reports. In this context, accountability seems like a tougher journey navigated by more complicated choices.

If I look back through my last few posts, however, I can see that the difference is actually very small. I’ve already taken some of these nebulous concepts and defined key deliverables (as they relate to my process—your mileage may vary): to achieve inspiration, I must relax, provide myself with creative inputs, listen to what my body and mind are telling me, etc.; to tell the true story, I must ensure that I’m the one in command of the story at all times; and so on.

Accountability pitfalls are also the same, no matter what endeavor I’m undertaking. Traps like blaming someone else for my own poor choices or development opportunities (“I can’t write today because my Muse isn’t cooperating.” “I didn’t have a choice with that plot point, my character refused to do anything else.”) and attempting to justify or rationalize mistakes or wrong turns in my journey (ignoring the twinge).

I guess the point of this short series—aside from the fun of exploring my thoughts on each individual topic—is that while each of these elements (how we manage our inspiration, how we handle road blocks in our process and who commands our stories) are critical, necessary parts of the process, they can each be tied to what I feel is a dangerous accountability trap.

At the end of the day, I am the one who is responsible for creating the story. I am the one who has to do the hard work to get there, I am the one who has to make the mistakes and learn from them, I am the one who has to find the resolve to come to the keyboard again and again and face my fears, I am the one who has to travel the path of emotions and thought that will tell the true story. In this I must be relentless, unwavering. To allow my accountability to slip is to stray from this path. It’s not good enough.

I’d love to say that by writing those words, I’ve cemented my will and won’t ever falter again. I will. Again and again and again, I’m certain. But if I can focus on this, strive towards the goals I’ve talked about this week, then I will have begun clearing the way for my stories to come through stronger, easier and, above all, with a grace my process is sorely lacking today.


*Or not, if Office Space is any indication...
**Soon! SOON! she yells to the sky.