A new book idea

What a freaking week. My entire life basically stopped in order to accommodate a big report deadline for the Day Job. I still have a bit of work to do this weekend but by Monday, it will be done! Woo!!

In other news, I had this hilarious conversation with Ben last night:

me: Hey, I had a new book idea today!
Ben: Oh yeah?
me: Yeah, but here's the weird thing: it was for a romance.
Ben: A bromance??
me: No!! A ROmance.
Ben: Oh. *thinks* Like the Fabio kind?
me: No, a contemporary.

Let's discuss, shall we? A) A bromance book. This sends me into fits of internal giggles every time I think about it. Imagining scenes, pitches, query letters... B) I love that Fabio apparently has his own romance genre. C) Just to clarify, the reason I said it was weird was because I've never written one. I mean, I wrote a UF that had a very strong romantic element. And I didn't really think I'd ever write one, which is just ridiculous because I never thought I'd write a dystopian YA and here I am, revising it. Still. Ugh. Somebody kill me. *ahem*

So, yeah. Perhaps I'll be writing a contemporary romance next! Or maybe space opera! Who knows, really?

I'm off to a busy weekend. I hope you're all doing well!

Things I am madly in love with today

A list, in no particular order:

1. Scrivener v.2.0.2
2. Gerard Butler and the exorbitant amount of man-titty in the movie 300
3. Fight scenes
4. Fire
5. Tea
6. Blankets
7. Puppies
8. Hard-working husbands
9. Lena Headey
10. The luxury of nothing on the agenda but writing

Ben Gems

During dinner tonight:

Ben: *dramatically straightening his back* My posture has been terrible lately.
Me: O.o
Ben: What? It has.
Me: Don't crane your neck out. *imitates* You look like an ostrich.
Ben: I am an ostrich! My neck is fucked up! I have scoliosis!
Me: *snorts, goes back to eating*
Ben: *pauses* I'm also knock-kneed.
Me: *chokes on potato*
Ben: What? I am. It makes it harder to run.
Me: *drops fork*
Ben: I don't know why you're laughing.
Me: *abandons all pretense of getting laughter under control*
Ben: I can't believe you haven't noticed. We've been married for almost eleven years.
Me: *crying with laughter* You are not knock-kneed.
Ben: *leaps out of chair* See?! *stabs finger at knee cap* That's what knock-kneed is! When the knee cap turns in to the center! Look! *bends leg at knee* They angle out to the side. I AM KNOCK-KNEED.
Me: *pulls up Wikipedia entry for knock-kneed*
Ben: ... Oh. Well I guess not, like, officially...

Several minutes later, What A Fool Believes by The Doobie Brothers comes up in my playlist*, which I have blasting in the kitchen.
Me: *cranks up the volume, boogies down*
Ben: Is this Al Green?







*I know, a rare non-Breaking Benjamin, non-Last Samurai score moment. Don't worry though, a BB song came on right after The Doobie Brothers. ;)

Wedding picspam and my husband's new crush

Before we get to Ben's new crush, a quick word about my weekend. We went to a wedding on Saturday. The coolness factor of the event (and, really, the couple themselves) can pretty much be summed up by these two pictures:


The placecards. We decided Ben was the Storm Trooper.


Champagne? We don't need no stinking champagne! These were the choices to toast with. We chose the Guinness (OBviously. Guinness is nectar of the gods. Besides, Baileys provokes Biological Events of Which We Shall Not Speak (tm). Fricking dairy.)

Our "placecard" only lasted long enough for me to photograph it.



Me: OMG! Are you eating my ass??
Ben: *big innocent eyes* No! I'm lifting you.
Me: Pffft. Whatever. Hey! Cool. I have both guns. Ha!

But Mr. Storm Trooper's work wasn't done for the evening, oh no:



Last, a pic of the Wishing Wall we got the couple, which they cleverly brought to the wedding:



This environmentally friendly cardboard frame has a corrugated honeycomb inside and comes with lots of colorful slips of paper. The idea is, your friends and family (or you or whomever) write wishes for you on the paper, roll them up and slide them into the honeycomb slots in the frame. I'm madly in love with this idea and want to buy them for everyone for every occasion -- weddings, babies, new houses, etc. You like? Check it out at Uncommon Goods (super great company, btw!).

Onto the new crush...

You need to understand that we're working our way through the seasons of Battlestar Galactica, which is really great and you should all go rent it right now, amen. I suppose what I'm about to say contains minor spoilers though, really, you can see them coming from a mile away so feel free to read on even if you haven't watched the show yet. ;)

So here we are in bed last night, lights out, snuggled up*, expressing our love in the typical Sweet style:
Me: I promise I'll never divorce you for Lee Adama.
Ben: I love you! I promise I'll never divorce you for Captain Thrace.
Me: I lov--
Ben: Because you're pretty and black.
Me: O.o

Yup. Ben's got the hots for Dualla.



Me? I like Starbuck. Dee's too...nice.



Have you watched the show? If so, who's your crush?


*Well, as snuggled up as two people can be with a 30 pound terrier between them.

Couples cooking

Ben got an extra special present for his birthday: a diagnosis of high blood pressure. So we're now cooking together everyday, preparing recipes from a special diet prescribed by his doctor.

Here are a few samples of what this process is like:

Ben: Okay! *claps hands* One t-s-p of black pepper.
Ben: *searches in cabinet for one full minute* Where's the black pepper? It's not in here.
Me: *glances at cabinet, points right in front of Ben*
***
Ben: Okay! Three cups of water.
Ben: *staring at water in pot* Do you think this pot is too big?
Me: Ben. You asked me how you could help, I asked you to make the rice. Handle it.
Ben: Don't judge me.
Me: Too late.
***
Ben: Okay! Four ounces of low sodium tomato sauce and four ounces of regular tomato sauce. I've got...two eight ounce cans here.
Ben: O.o
Ben: Okay! What am I going to use to measure out four ounces? *starts rooting through drawers*
Me: Ben. Half a can of each.
Ben: What? No.
Me: O.o
Ben: N-no. It must be exact!
Me: Ben! Halfacan! It's cooking! Not neuroscience!
Ben: *keens*
***
Ben: Okay! One and a half t-s-p of garlic. Let me just get a measuri--
Me: *dumps a spoonful of garlic into the sauce*
Ben: *shrieks*
Me: Oh, my god. It's garlic. You don't need to measure garlic.
***
Ben: Okay! Let simmer for twenty minutes. JESUS! Twenty minutes?!? Are you KIDDING? Do you always cook the rice that long? Oh my GOD, it's not going to be done for EVAR!
Me: *dies*
***

Either the diet will reduce his blood pressure or the stress of the cooking will kill him. Jury's still out.

Sorry to be such an absentee blogger lately but I've got some real life stuff going on that's had to take priority. I'll be away this weekend for a memorial service. Next week, I'm hoping to quietly sneak back into a regular routine. I've got a minor rewrite of BLOOD AND SACRIFICE to do and the unplotted abyss to venture into on Megan's story which I've decided to call THE LANGUAGE OF SILENCE as a working title.

Everyone, be good to each other out there. It matters, even when you think it doesn't and especially when you think you'll have more time to do better later.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BEN!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BABY!!



I made Googled you this monkey cake, because I love you so. Have a great day!



xoxoinfinity

In the continuing adventures of the motorcycle accident...

There was some humor to be had in yesterday's events. For example, after I saw Ben at the scene of the accident, I had to double back to the house to crate Logan before I met him (and the ambulance) at the hospital.

Here's what I did bring to the hospital: my laptop (because I knew I'd be sitting around, waiting, and what perfect time to get writing work done!), a book to read (ditto, just in case laptops weren't allowed or my time was more intermittent), granola bars for Ben (because I knew he hadn't eaten breakfast).

Here's what I did not bring: clothes for Ben (despite the fact that I'd clearly seen his torn to shreds where the chaps didn't cover them), something for Ben to do during all the waiting (because, really, why would I think of him?).

Bottom line: Won't be winning that Wife of the Year trophy anytime soon. Poor guy had to wear scrub bottoms and his leather jacket home. But, hey. At least I got some writing done. *eye roll*

I also present, for your amusement, some conversations direct from the hospital room. I had to wait about an hour for Ben to have an ultrasound done and what better way to fill the time than capture funnies for the blog?

This is one I overheard from a Doctor (D), Patient (P) and Patient's Girlfriend (P GF) who were unlucky enough to have to hang out in the hallway, as the ER ran out of rooms:

D: When did it start?
P: Sunday
D: So, when you got stabbed?
P: Yeah.
…
D: You have another one?
P: Oh, yeah! *rustling sheets*
D: Oh! I didn’t realize you had more. How many times did you get stabbed??
P: Uh…eight?
P GF: Yeah, eight.
P: Eight.
D: Wow.

I realize this may not read nearly as funny as it sounded, but the doctor was so flabbergasted by this guy's eight stab wounds, it just cracked me up. And to hear a conversation that begins with symptoms starting "when you got stabbed" is hilarious to me. I know. I'm a bad person.

Lastly, a sampling of conversations between me and Ben. Or, as I have titled them, Ben Being Ridiculous:

R: Need anything?
B: Can you hand me my phone?
R: *hands phone, presumably so he can call loved ones and assure them he’s not dead*
B: Oh, look. 27 emails.
R: *goes nuclear* You are not checking your emails from a fucking hospital bed. Give me that.
…
B on phone to biz partner: I have a meeting at 2 with [coworker] and [client]. I don’t know if I’ll make that.
R: *frowning* You’re not going back to work today.
B: Oh, Renee says she’s not sure I’ll make it back to work today, so—
R: *gives The Look* No, I said you’re not going back to work today.
B: Oh. Oh. Apparently I’m not coming back to work today.

Things you never want to hear when you answer the phone.

"Renee?"
"Yeah."
"My name is [so-and-so]. Your husband is okay, but there's been an accident."

Oy.

The SUV in front of Ben hit the car in front of him and therefore came to a sudden, complete stop. Ben hit the brakes on the motorcycle, hard, and the wheels locked up. He began skidding and didn't think he'd stop before he hit the SUV in front of him. So, he laid the bike down (which, incidentally, sounds MUCH gentler than it really was). At some point they skidded together and at some point Ben came off the bike. He landed in another lane of traffic but miraculously did not get runover.

Thanks to the full protective gear he was wearing, he was able to walk away from the accident with a dislocated finger and several bumps and bruises, but that's it. THIS IS WHY IT'S IMPORTANT TO WEAR FULL PROTECTIVE GEAR WHEN YOU RIDE A MOTORCYCLE, PEOPLE. Even if it makes you hot. Even if you can't feel the wind as much. Even if you don't like it. Because then you don't end up dead or with bones sticking out of your leg, like the guy in the triage room next to Ben in the ER this morning.

We are very thankful. And tired.

About that Swineflu...

Me: *recites litany of swineflu factoids from CNN*
Ben: I have a question.
Me: What?
Ben: Do you think there's any possibility this whole thing will turn into a zombie outbreak*?
Me: Hmm.
Ben: Because that would be awesome.
Me: That would be awesome, but--
Ben: WE SHOULD BUY A GUN!! We should buy a gun. Just in case.

Planning went on for some time and I'm delighted to announce that we now have a complete Zombie Outbreak Preparedness Plan in place. We know our hiding place. We know how much food and water we'd need. We know what kind of gun we'd get. And, damn it, we know how many books and how many laptop batteries we'd bring to the hiding place with us because if I have to hide out for days on end I am not going to sit around doing nothing. I can at least whittle down my TBR shelf and write a book, for the love of christ.

*Naturally, I mean no disrespect to the families around the world who have been effected by this terrible epidemic. But humor is as good a coping mechanism for the things that scare us as anything else.

Behold! The geekery of my husband.

Ben: The contents of this box is worth 3 million dollars.
Me: When, in 1972?
Ben: Not in 1972! In 1993!!
Me: *rolls eyes*
Ben: Do you know how much data this holds?
Me: A terrabyte.
Ben: No, a terrabyte! Touch it.

Christmas Cheer at the Sweet Household

I won a 3 CD set of Christmas music in an office grab bag the other day. It's sat on the dining room table since I brought it home, waiting to be digitized. Ben got bored during dinner tonight and started quizzing me with it.

Ben: The London Philharmonic Orchestra is one of three orchestras performing on this set. Who are the other two?
Renee: The London Symphony Orchestra and...I have no idea.
B: The Royal Philharmonic Orchestra. Which orchestra performed track 8 on disc 3?
R: The London Philharmonic.
B: No! The Royal. Which orchestra performed tracks 2, 7, and 9-12 on disc 2?
R: The London Symphony?
B: No! You're terrible at this. The London Philharmonic. Which orchestra performed track 11 on disc 1?
R: The London Symphony.
B: Yes, but you're still wrong because you didn't phrase it in the form of a question. Okay! Which--
R: I'm not playing anymore.
B: Yes, you are. Fill in the blanks of the title to track 3: We _____ Kings.
R: ......
B: Fill in the blanks: We ______ Kings.
R: ......
B: Come on. You know this. We _____ Kings.
R. Fuck.
B: No!
R: Vote against.
B: Honey, come on. It's one word. Okay, never mind. Try this: God Rest Ye _____ Gentlemen.
R: Drunkard
B: No! And anyway, it would be drunkER not drunkARD.
R: It's Old English.
B: What--
R: Child is this.
B: No! Let me finish! What ballet is track 7 of disc 1 from, The Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy?
R: Swan Lake.
B: Don't be a bitch.
R: *erupts in fit of hysterical laughter*
B: I don't know why you're laughing.
R: Because you're getting so pissed.
B: I am getting pissed! Take the quiz!