It's aliiiiiiiiive!

I'm coming out of my self-imposed exile for a brief moment to let you all know that WINTER DID NOT KILL MY TREE!!!





Thanks so much to all of you who provided thoughtful comments, suggestions and encouragement. I also have to give a shout out to my stepfather, who performed the actual surgery.

Hooray!

Love and let love and the world will be a better place

THIS. A thousand times, this: Federal judge overturns CA ban on same sex marriage

Music bargain alert!

You can buy The Fray's latest, self-titled album on Amazon for only $2.99 as their MP3 deal of the day today. This album is fantastic, I am Fray-obsessed and you should already have clicked off of this post to snap it up. Go!! Here's a link!

World AIDS Day

Today is World AIDS Day.

According to the Centers for Disease Control, a new person is infected with HIV every nine-and-a-half minutes in the United States and 1 in 5 of the over one million Americans infected with HIV is unaware of their infection.

I volunteer as an HIV Counselor a couple times a month. It is astounding how much misinformation is still perpetuated and how many of my clients still don't know the basics of how HIV is transmitted and how they can protect themselves.

Here are the facts:

> HIV can only be transmitted through four bodily fluids: blood, semen (even pre-cum), vaginal fluids, and breast milk.
> Other bodily fluids--tears, saliva, urine, sweat--are safe.
> The virus must get into your bloodstream in order for you to become infected.
> While it's possible to get HIV through unprotected oral sex, it's a relatively safe behavior where HIV is concerned. It's very risky for other STDs, however.
> Unprotected vaginal and anal sex are very, very risky for HIV.
> There is a 3-6 month window period for HIV testing. That means if you had a possible exposure yesterday, you could get tested tomorrow and your result would be negative...even if you were infected with HIV yesterday. You must get tested 3-6 months from your last possible exposure to have a 100% certain negative result.

Here are the ways you can protect yourself:

> Do not--I repeat--do not have unprotected sex, unless you and your partner(s) have tested negative for HIV.
> Don't brush or floss 2 hours before or 2 hours after having oral sex. Brushing and flossing can create minor cuts and abrasions in your mouth, opening a channel for HIV to get into your bloodstream.
> Don't allow someone to come into your mouth and don't swallow. Both increase how much of your body you're exposing to the virus.
> Don't engage in oral sex if you or your partner(s) have a sore throat, cold sore, cuts or sores in or around the mouth, etc. Any of these could be a pathway to the bloodstream for HIV infected fluids.
> If you use injection drugs, don't share needles.

Please. If you're sexually active, get tested for HIV and STDs. If you're unsure where to go or embarrassed or scared about getting a test, I can help you locate a local testing facility you can trust, who will guide you through the process.

On Thanksgiving, Bitter Thoughts Of

I'm going to do something compleeeeeetely uncharacteristic and tell you what I think about something. (I know, I know. Prepare yourselves for the shock.)

Specifically, Thanksgiving. I think it's...false. Just like Christmas.

I mean, really.

Here's what we actually celebrate: A day with the family, whom we may or may not see very often, on which we allow ourselves to overindulge in a level of gluttony that takes days to prepare for. Occasionally, there's a bonus moment or two of actual thanksgiving (in the dictionary sense, not the branded word Thanksgiving (tm) that calls to mind google-eyed turkeys joyfully advertising their own flesh for consumption).

Here's what Thanksgiving really is: A day designated to celebrate/acknowledge a false friendship between white settlers and the Native Americans whose land we took over. I realize that's a terribly pessimistic view of things, but there you have it. That's how I feel.

Here's what it should be: What it was originally intended to be--a harvest festival meant to be a chance to offer (wait for it...) thanksgiving to the earth for a plentiful harvest that will get families through the winter. A time to reflect on the blessings each person, each family, has received throughout the year or their lives. A time to give thanks to each other for their support in the hard times and their shared rejoicing in the good times.

Much like with Christmas, we have strayed far from what this holiday was meant for. It's true that our lives aren't so desperately dependent on local harvests for survival anymore. But our lives are far more complicated than they used to be way back when this tradition first began. We have many other things that we depend on to keep us happy, healthy and safe--things that our minds skitter past in our hurried day to day lives.

I guess the point of this rather long and grumpy post is that I wish everyone would take this whole week and, in fact, every week of the year to think about the blessings in their lives. Actually, I'd really, really love for people to act upon the sense of gratefulness I'm certain will follow this type of reflection, but we'll start with baby steps. :)

/grumpiness

Stumbling blocks to stepping stones

Yesterday was a very important day in my career as a writer: I received my first official rejection!

You may be asking yourself, "Why the hell is she writing about this publicly and why is there a happy little exclamation point at the end??" Well, here's the thing. Rejection is something every writer has to deal with, all throughout his/her career. From the evil internal editor voice that wants you to know in no uncertain terms that whatever you're working on is crap, to constructive feedback received from your critique partners, to agents and editors letting you know your work isn't for them. Rejection can take many forms and a writer who wants to be in this for the long haul needs to be ready to deal with them all.

So, when I received my first "no thank you" from an agent yesterday, I didn't freak out. I took it in stride and thought about how I had just experienced an important rite of passage. I allowed myself some time to think about the ways that rejections can be stumbling blocks: they can make us feel less confident, make us question our self worth, make us question our skill level and doubt that bright, shiny future we've been imagining for ourselves.

Then I spent more time thinking about the ways they can be stepping stones.

When I think back on the various types of rejection I've experienced in my life, most of it resulted in a better, stronger version of me somehow. Sure, the journey that began with the rejection (or, arguably long before the rejection but stick with me here) and resulted in the new! improved! me was sometimes long and painful, but the end result was almost always worth it when I look at the situation objectively and holistically. Those rejections became stepping stones on a path of growth and improvement that has brought me to the place I am today--a place I'm very, very happy to be in.

So! I'm holding a little contest to celebrate this latest stumbling block stepping stone. Leave me a comment by the end of the day Friday 5/22, telling me about a stumbling block you turned into a stepping stone and one random winner between here and my LJ will receive a hand-written letter from me on a homemade card with my thoughts on how you make the world a better place. This contest is open to anyone, anywhere. Dig deep, people. This is as much for you as it is for me. :)