Couples cooking

Ben got an extra special present for his birthday: a diagnosis of high blood pressure. So we're now cooking together everyday, preparing recipes from a special diet prescribed by his doctor.

Here are a few samples of what this process is like:

Ben: Okay! *claps hands* One t-s-p of black pepper.
Ben: *searches in cabinet for one full minute* Where's the black pepper? It's not in here.
Me: *glances at cabinet, points right in front of Ben*
***
Ben: Okay! Three cups of water.
Ben: *staring at water in pot* Do you think this pot is too big?
Me: Ben. You asked me how you could help, I asked you to make the rice. Handle it.
Ben: Don't judge me.
Me: Too late.
***
Ben: Okay! Four ounces of low sodium tomato sauce and four ounces of regular tomato sauce. I've got...two eight ounce cans here.
Ben: O.o
Ben: Okay! What am I going to use to measure out four ounces? *starts rooting through drawers*
Me: Ben. Half a can of each.
Ben: What? No.
Me: O.o
Ben: N-no. It must be exact!
Me: Ben! Halfacan! It's cooking! Not neuroscience!
Ben: *keens*
***
Ben: Okay! One and a half t-s-p of garlic. Let me just get a measuri--
Me: *dumps a spoonful of garlic into the sauce*
Ben: *shrieks*
Me: Oh, my god. It's garlic. You don't need to measure garlic.
***
Ben: Okay! Let simmer for twenty minutes. JESUS! Twenty minutes?!? Are you KIDDING? Do you always cook the rice that long? Oh my GOD, it's not going to be done for EVAR!
Me: *dies*
***

Either the diet will reduce his blood pressure or the stress of the cooking will kill him. Jury's still out.

Sorry to be such an absentee blogger lately but I've got some real life stuff going on that's had to take priority. I'll be away this weekend for a memorial service. Next week, I'm hoping to quietly sneak back into a regular routine. I've got a minor rewrite of BLOOD AND SACRIFICE to do and the unplotted abyss to venture into on Megan's story which I've decided to call THE LANGUAGE OF SILENCE as a working title.

Everyone, be good to each other out there. It matters, even when you think it doesn't and especially when you think you'll have more time to do better later.