Ben Gems

During dinner tonight:

Ben: *dramatically straightening his back* My posture has been terrible lately.
Me: O.o
Ben: What? It has.
Me: Don't crane your neck out. *imitates* You look like an ostrich.
Ben: I am an ostrich! My neck is fucked up! I have scoliosis!
Me: *snorts, goes back to eating*
Ben: *pauses* I'm also knock-kneed.
Me: *chokes on potato*
Ben: What? I am. It makes it harder to run.
Me: *drops fork*
Ben: I don't know why you're laughing.
Me: *abandons all pretense of getting laughter under control*
Ben: I can't believe you haven't noticed. We've been married for almost eleven years.
Me: *crying with laughter* You are not knock-kneed.
Ben: *leaps out of chair* See?! *stabs finger at knee cap* That's what knock-kneed is! When the knee cap turns in to the center! Look! *bends leg at knee* They angle out to the side. I AM KNOCK-KNEED.
Me: *pulls up Wikipedia entry for knock-kneed*
Ben: ... Oh. Well I guess not, like, officially...

Several minutes later, What A Fool Believes by The Doobie Brothers comes up in my playlist*, which I have blasting in the kitchen.
Me: *cranks up the volume, boogies down*
Ben: Is this Al Green?







*I know, a rare non-Breaking Benjamin, non-Last Samurai score moment. Don't worry though, a BB song came on right after The Doobie Brothers. ;)