What she said really boils down to this quote:
Really, what it comes down to is this: you have to choose courage.
At some point, you have to decide that this is the path you're on, come hell or high water, and rejection isn't going to bother you. Distress just isn't an option. Your heart is an impenetrable box and the slings and arrows of outrageous industry gatekeepers or critique groups or your partner are not going to nick the surface.
In my experience (so far, submitted one novel to agents, biggest achievement = partial request), what Maggie said is right on. The only qualifier I'd add is that this applies to the process as a whole. We are human. We are emotional. We cannot always direct those emotions along the path of our choosing. This means that sometimes, rejection is going to catch you, it's going to hit you hard, it's going to frustrate you and make you forget you chose courage. Those moments are fine (though I recommend keeping them contained to as few people as possible). They'll happen.
But as you're working through your journey, whether it be submission to agents, working with a critique group, submission with publishers, or--hell--daily life, Maggie's so right: you have to choose courage as your default setting.
You see the email come in. You take a deep breath. You ready yourself for any answer. You open it. Damn, it's a rejection. You take a moment--a *moment*--to mourn what is lost and then whoosh! You move it to your Query folder and you go back to your day. You think about what the next email might say or what the next story might bring. You believe in yourself and your words and (in my case) the system. And when you don't feel courageous at all, you find someone to talk to about what you're going through and you say the courageous-sounding words because saying something makes it real in a certain way.
Be courageous, my lovelies. We'll all get to where we need to be someday.
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